Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
