you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
