I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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