I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
