is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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