Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
