CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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