I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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