I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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