I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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