he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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