Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
