susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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