She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
