i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just had sex on a roof
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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