You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
