tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
