she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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