she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We are all done wearing pants today
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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