His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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