Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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