I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
