Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
