The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
