If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
