THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
