So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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