y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize