her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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