I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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