Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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