it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize