you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
