she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Randomize
