The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
