I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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