Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she told me i tasted like america
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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