I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You're like the curious george of whores
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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