I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
