I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
