Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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