Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
