Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
