you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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