And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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