Define "chronic" masturbator.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
