How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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