Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
