I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize