to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
