I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize