Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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