if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
