Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
