I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
