I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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