No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
